Posted by: realestatewebtrainer | May 6, 2011

Social Media is NOT for Resolving Conflict

There are two sides to the Real Estate Industry – one that is about Sellers and Buyers interacting with Real Estate Agents and Brokers; the other, a little bit more underground, has to do with Brokers and Agents relating to one another. Those in the industry understand the psychology of offices, and if we were to be frank with one another we would admit the following:

a. ‘Gossip’ and ‘Fear of Change’ drive Real Estate Offices.

b. Motivation and Referrals create ‘False Leverage.’

c. Ego and ‘Misguided Management’ is the Reality – the illusion that the businesses are ‘Structured’ is the other illusion.

Resolving Conflict using Social Media and Email tends to Back-Fire

So why am I writing this blog? Many Brokers and Agents are “resolving” their “Conflict” using emails and Social Media and they fail to understand that they are aggravating the situation – not making it better. I use the verb ‘Resolve’ advisedly because they are not truly resolving anything. (they are screaming loudly into the wind of silence and retribution…)

There are so many No-Nos to using Emails and Social Media to resolve conflict but let me share some…

1. Emails and posting on FaceBook and Twitter are permanent; this means that in a moment of anger you could call someone names that you truly don’t mean, but because you chose to email it or Tweet them they become part of the narrative. It is very hard to walk away from something written; it is easier to do so if it  spoken.

2. Social Media is about Group Experiences not individual Relationships – if I am angry with Susan, I can call her and we maybe able to work it out; if I post something on FB saying that: “Susan is a horrible human being for this or that…” It is very hard to walk away from it and reconnect with her.

3. The moment you have a conflict that raises your blood pressure and you wish to relieve it, make sure you give yourself time to reflect on what you are writing. Anger, Passion, and Retribution may not always bring the best in you…

4. Expect Conflict if you choose to be in the Real Estate Industry – if you desire Harmony Real Estate maybe a bit challenging.

5. Brokers – No-No #1: Sending Mass emails to all your agents chiding them for not attending meetings, or not doing their work, when you know that only a few are really to blame is a huge mistake. You are in affect being parental with all your agents when the true offenders are well known. You are going to cause resentment from your agents and colleagues – it is like punishing those who attend meetings by being angry over those who did not.

6. Brokers – No-No #2: The concept of Team Work has a nice ring to it, and it maybe that if all your agents worked within that spirit it would make you happy; but you must also remember that your agents are also Independent Contractors and basically work for themselves… So as you lay the groundwork for “Being a Team” and its benefits don’t lay it too thick; deep down a lot of them are competing against one another; and it is not always unhealthy if they do.

7. Brokers – No-No #3: The concept of Mandatory Agent Participation is false. Make your office meetings thoughtful, useful, and well planned and your agents will attend – Stop trying to scare them into attending; many of them are doing well and you MUST accept it. If you desire Absolute Control STOP paying your Real Estate Agents on Commission and start offering them a Salary – Real Estate Agents are NOT Employees.

8. Agents – No-No #1: Your Broker may be trying to get you to attend events that you do not care about, but you maybe missing important opportunities by being so focused on yourself… you have to give from time to time; I promise you you will be happily surprised at times.

9. Agents – No-No #2: Don’t overreact if you hear that a colleague is disparaging you – Bid your time and be thoughtful; you do not want to become a “Jane in the Box” who overreacts to everything they hear; accept that Gossip is part of the norm.

10. Agents – No-No #3: Find a way to distance yourself from being the source of  Gossip; it hurts you more than you think. Become the best Realtor in your Niche Market and offer thoughtful Solutions to your Buyers and Sellers… you will always succeed if you trust you soul and intellect!

As I wrap this blog post I want you trust the energy of good within you; yes you will experience conflict, yes you will be angry and disappointed, yes not everything is going to work out the way you wish it; but there is a core to you you can trust – step away from conflict just a bit to see how you truly feel about it; allow a friend you trust to guide you by talking to you truthfully; and make your life about something more than money and you will always be well…

Happy Blogging 🙂 – Key Yessaad, Real Estate Trainer



  1. Wee Wee I agree! Great advice from a great advisor!

  2. i think the girl in the back is winning the argument! lol

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